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Guest Blogger Anonymous

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This person wanted to share their story, but remain anonymous, so here is their story:

 

As a long time listener and fan of Get This, I have been well aware of, and celebrated Capril since it’s inception. I used to be ‘that’ odd girl that you couldn’t be quite sure… if you actually did see…oh wait, yes, she is wearing a cape. What an oddball. I see Capril as a great excuse to brighten up someone’s day, even if it’s your own, by donning a schmancy cape (my mum supplies me with a new one each year) and twirling around for a while.

As I’ve always been this type of upbeat and happy-go-lucky kinda gal, I was genuinely surprised when the thought crept across my mind a few months ago that I hadn’t been as energised and exuberant as I typically thought of myself as being. I thought about it awhile, that I hadn’t been as positive or hopeful over the previous few months. And then I stopped thinking about it. I didn’t want to think about it. Instead, I would lay in bed, avoiding starting my day and playing Plants vs Zombies on my iPhone. Or sitting in the sun under the pretense of having a cup of tea before I went to visit a friend, but only after I took the rubbish out and vacuumed the living room and maybe popped to the shops and bought some more chocolate since I’ve run out. I realised that I was procrastinating on and avoiding doing things that I should be enjoying. I didn’t want to meet up with friends. Or go to my perfectly enjoyable job. Or participate in my study any more than I had to in order to scrape a pass. And I realised that that isn’t the type of person that I want to be. I want to go back to being the girl who is happy to bounce out of bed, don a red-and sparkly-gold cape and take on the day with gusto. I didn’t want to feel hopeless and pessimistic and unmotivated anymore.
I took the first step in calling the counselling service at my uni. I called at a fortunate time of year and was able to get in almost immediately. I went and saw Maryanne and cried for an hour about how miserable I felt and about how I didn’t want to feel like this anymore. And she helped me see that there was no overnight fix to how I was feeling, and that what I was feeling was ok, treatable, and called depression. She set me some homework, to get out of bed before 9am and to eat breakfast on three out of five days a week. Perfectly achievable strategies that help me to start the day on the right foot.
Maryanne helped me see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer. Some days are awful. Some days all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. And sometimes that’s what I do. But that’s not all I do. I try to do at least one thing every day that I HAVE to do, whether it be cleaning, or studying, and balance that with one thing that I WANT to do – swimming, visiting friends, jumping on the trampoline, watching Gossip Girl…all those fun things that help to make life exciting again. And this month, I’m adding to that excitement with a cape! It feels even more meaningful this year to catch those sly smiles from people who spot my cape, or even the weird stares, because I know that by wearing a cape, I’m owning my depression, showing it off and announcing to the world that it won’t be here for too much longer. Because I am Cape-able!


2 comments

  1. Hope you are feeling better. I too am a long time listener of Get This. Crazy to think that after all these years that I keep listening to all these old podcasts whenever I ride my bicycle.

    I was very saddened by the death of Richard Marsland. I guess all you hear is the funny guy on the radio. You don’t know what is going on in their private life. I guess we should all keep a lookout to make sure our friends are ok and don’t end up like Ricky M.

    I don’t have a cape yet but I will remedy that soon. Maybe I will ride my bike with a cape (safely of course).

  2. You are cape-able!!! πŸ™‚ I have only just discoverd this website, I think it’s great. I’m going wear a cape proudly some time this month and think if you, plus other people in my life going through the same thing πŸ™‚ I struggle not to have panic attacks everyday, I want them gone!

    I hope you are finding balance and excitement in your life! Take one day at a time, you can do it πŸ™‚

    Jess


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