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depression and your relationship

This article originally published at Street Articles

Written by Ai Hoon

Have you noticed how people treat you when you are depressed? Depression affects your relationship with others in negative ways if your depression is not overcome. Why do depressed people shun intimacy and drive people who are close to them away? To understand this, we need to know how a depressed person’s mindset works.

Depression may be caused by low self esteem and no self worth

Someone with low self esteem naturally considers himself not good enough or not worth to be around. Hence, this person will exude a sense of ‘I want to be alone’ or ‘I’m not good enough to be with you’. This is usually not done consciously as the depressed person is too wrapped up in his own worries and situation to notice he is pushing you away.

Do not be offended or take it to heart when a depressed person pushes you away. He or she is thinking he’d rather deal with his or her problems by themselves. How do you deal with this? If you are a family member or a friend, all you can do is tell that person that you are available if they need to talk and they don’t need to shoulder their woes themselves.

Depression causes rifts that cannot be mend

If you have a spouse or someone close who is depressed, he or she may cause a rift that cannot be mend if you let depression stand between the both of you. I once lost a friend because I became very depressed and forgot that there were others besides me to think about. I lashed out when I got angry and when I was in the low phase, I became unapproachable. This inherently created a gap between us and we became further and further apart because I could not control my depression.

Don’t let depression be the cause of you being separated from your loved one. If you are depressed, don’t forget that you are cared about and you still need to deal with your family members and friends. They are usually more than willing to help you and all you have to do is open up. Most depressed people make the mistake of keeping their feelings bottled up and lashing out when the feelings become unbearable. Their loved ones will be hurt and suffer too.

I fought hard to overcome depression because I knew that other people depend on me too especially my family. I did not want to jeopardize the bonds between us because I knew if I were to get into trouble, my family will always be the one to come to my aid first.

So, if you are being pushed away by someone who seems depressed, don’t reciprocate by ignoring him or her in return. Offer your willingness to help even if it means just listening to them.

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Born in Sydney in 1975, Angus grew up in the northern suburbs of Sydney and later in the Western Suburbs of Sydney. Over the years he has been a check out operator, charity collection agent for the Muscualr Dystrophy Association, Apple Repair Technician and is a former Director and all rounder type computer and network technician of Little Computer People. He is married to Michelle, who he met on-line back in the good old days of the internet when it was considered a big no-no to have physically met someone you chat to on-line for fear of harm. He has lived in Melbourne for two years, then moved back to Sydney for eleven years, but is once again back in Melbourne. It is nicer than Sydney for artistic purposes and coolness factor. As of now he lives in Pascoe Vale, fixes computers and networks, takes photos of all sorts of things as a hobby and builds lego to help deal with his depression. Capril means even more to him now.

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